Empty

When two lips joint there's a certain fire beneath heart. And our body heated until a blows shows. Just small fire liven us and trigger for more.

Some say love is not real. I say it's not real enough to be seen. If you trust then someday you might fall into and endless pit, and die. So that's why I choose to be empty.

When I took the bullet I caught it with my bare hands. It vanished then they say I'm a creep. But you say I'm valiant, or dumb. You bind my lips stiff it couldn't move. Cause silence is just a beauty as void is.

(pictures from GYPSYMESS!)

Movie I Need to See

Requiem For A Dream



But it's so hard finding it in my hometown. Well my cousin's working on it, but I just have to see it

Victim

Another song I wrote, been sick for days and all I wanted is to write songs
I've wrote a lot of songs, but I didn't finish, you know only parts of it. This one, I've finish writing it but I don't know how the music goes. Literally don't know, I don't even know how to sing it- so I guess it's still a poem? Whatever, so here's how the lyrics goes


What more does it take
For a mime to smile
Guess it's just part of nature
There's nothing we can change


But it keeps stating a complain
It says its taking grief
And it's all my fault
Believe me, I've had enough


Can you call my name
Without throwing any blame
I'm drained of this game
And it took more than one hand- to aim


With me being stained
Oh I don't mean no complain
But the facts being chained
It should all've been plain


Please help me to spread the wings I have left
But you didn't answer
I don't understand whatever I did wrong
Is my existence a sin?


I've put all sweats to cope
But I don't see no hope
So I'll just finish the cough
Cause I had enough

Can you call my name

Without stating any blame

I'm drained of this game

And it took more than one hand- to aim

With me being stained

But no I ain't throwing a complain

The facts being chained

Oh it should've been plain

Now it's all to my head

It hurts me

I can't take more of your words

I'm need of a hit, or a dope

Just to get me sleep away

I don't understand where I did wrong

And no, I never complain

Oh but what is a blame,

Without a victim to claim

Can you call my name

Without stating any blame

I'm drained of this game

And it took more than one hand- to aim

With me being stained

But no I ain't throwing a complain

The facts being chained

Oh it should've been plain

Oh and by the way I'm halfway done doing to chords/music for the previous song which I called Bullshit I think I'm going to call it Blinded.

Oh and also, this song is originally written on a piece of paper and inspired by Paper Bag but mostly the lyrics inspired of my true experience. True story~

I Think Kurt Might Have Got The Inspiration From Mudhoney

Let me rephrase that, I think Kurt might have got the inspiration of 'Rape Me' from Mudhoney's 'Need'

Knock yourself out

Mudhoney - Need

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Nirvana -Rape Me

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Creep-y

Look at this beauty

This is a fact

I know, scary right? It creeped me out at first too.
His name is Andrej Pejic and he's even prettier than me.

Andrej Pejić (Serbian Cyrillic: Андреј Пејић) (born August 28, 1991) is a Bosnian-born model of Serbian Ethnicity from Melbourne, Australia. He is notable for his androgyny. In the Paris fashion shows of January 2011 he walked both the men's and women's shows for Jean-Paul Gaultier and the men's shows for Marc Jacobs.

As of March 2011, he ranks no. 11 on the models.com Top 50 Male Models list

(it'sfromwikipedia)

Nowadays Grunge

These dudes are sick. It's hard to find people who has the same music taste as me (my age) nowadays. And these guys have.

Ooh, by the way I have the exact same shirt with the dude playing the bass

Gemma Ward; The Girl Who Will Feature On The Fourth Series of Pirates of The Carribean Is a Model or Maybe The Other Way Around

The title said it. Hell the title said everything.
I will post some editorials of her

Guess the pictures are pretty old, like years ago

Bullshit

This is a song I just wrote, I might change the lyrics a little bit later, because I broke my guitar. Maybe it would describe lyrics yet rather than song because I haven't been working on the chords. Anway this song is called Bullshit. Because people keep talking bulls but unable to commit,

Don’t you dare to break the twine

You have a severe pain hidden beneath

You’ve vowed to spin until

But you’re unable to accomplish even the littlest things

it seems

You wish you can just exit and ignore

I wish your life was not such a talk

Couldn’t you bear for just another moment in time?

Your disregard might have been endangering

I gotta say

Looking at you I can’t help but to disdain

You’re desperate of help but you can’t see

Because you’re blind

The cover of the book is too deceiving, oh baby

Nothing is as it seems

But you can’t escape when you’re

Imprisoned underneath

Don’t you dare to start what you can’t finish

The world is too critical of your lies

If you ever meet the sea then you’ll be drowned alive

Actually it was your own fault you relinquished from the decision

You wish you can just exit and ignore

I wish your life was not such a talk

Couldn’t you bear for just another moment in time?

Your disregard might have been endangering

I gotta say

Looking at you I can’t help but to disdain

You’re desperate of help but you can’t see

Because you’re blind

The cover of the book is too deceiving, oh baby

Nothing is as it seems

But you can’t escape when you’re

Imprisoned underneath

You don’t have to deny

You can’t make up your mind now

But later you could lose your mind

That’s why I’m saying

Looking at you I can’t help but to symphatize

You need a light to see

Because you’re blind

So you can’t see the wound you’ve been piling

You’d realize when fate decides to bring the matters at hand

And prove you were wrong

But you can’t take matters to the past

And rewind the time

Fiona Apple (1997)

I don't know, suddenly I just want to post pictures of my favourite artist since I was a child.

Sorry- I ran out of ideas of posting anything

The Ultimate German Word I Learned Reading The Book Thief

Saumensch. It was intensely used on the book.

Taylor Momsen is a Bad Bad Girl(?)

Do you know that IMG trade Taylor Momsen for Dakota Fanning? BURN. Well, here it is. Some people said it's because she became a 'bad girl' or 'not a good example for kids' since The Pretty Reckless but I gotta say it's bullshit. Taylor is not really bad (except for the fact she flashed her boobs that was- well I'm speechless). I mean, not all people has to be bubbly, and sweet, and nice. It should be fine to be a little 'bad'. And what kind of kids would idolize her at first place? She's not a disney star, yes she was on Gossip Girl. But at least people who watch Gossip Girl are around thirteen so they're not really 'kids'. I think she was out of IMG because she's not that tall, for a model. IMG standard height is 175 cm for adult models (16-years-old and above) and she's 173cm [sorry for the cm! I'm kinda lost in feets]. For teen models (14-15 years-old) it's around 165 cm I think. Also, maybe it's because she's more focused on her band than modelling right now. I mean, she was fourteen, who wouldn't want to be a model at fourteen?

I've always been a Taylor fan since Gossip Girl (infact I knew her way before The Pretty Reckless because of Gossip Girl). And I like her even more since The Pretty Reckless. I like her songs, and the best thing is- she's a musician, not a singer. It's refreshing to see these kind of bands aside from those disney singers and shit. Though her first song may be a rookie mistake. Well the song is pretty great, but the lyrics, and the song-everything is very amateur. It's good, but it's very ameteur. And it seems like a song that a ten years old who just listened to his father's old cds. Her style too- oh my god looking back a year/couple years ago, she is so different from now. I mean just look at her styles back then.

She looked like a rockstar wannabe- still a bubbly girl but nuh-uh. And what' with the hairstyle- speechless.

But now, she's like done with the awkward stage and found herself. Her styles- her songs, her covers. I like her demo songs it's her, and it's real. The songs in Light Me up are just too commercial (except for a few), it's like she didn't do that for herself, but what she was asked to do (really Taylor? :( you're gonna be a sell out too?). What I know is she rocks in doing covers I think it's better than the original. Well she was just like a pro there, better than before. And her style now,

Awesome - it's like she just broke out of her shell and not so awkward as before.

But I hope she won't go further from this

(CREEPY!). She really could be a 'devil's advocate' ._. I hope she'd focus on writing songs than flashing her boobs. I mean COME ON. Light Me up (album) was a fail, you should learn from there Taylor.

Those are pretty much what I think of Taylor, now.

Anway, fun facts of Taylor: do you realize that Taylor looks like Hanna Marin from Pretty Little Liars?

I know right? Oh and another thing, Taylor's an arsonist (okay maybe this part is not really fun)

Here Come Sickness

They got some pretty good shit. I think I'm starting to like Mudhoney now.

I've Been Living in a Denial

I was on an identity crisis. Well you know, in teenage years, you're prone to those kind of stuff. It was stressful, and everything you do just don't seem right. Everything I do seemed to be a denial- of things. And the worst was, because of the running-from-reality stuff, I gained weight. How? Because that's what I do, when I'm running away from something, I eat.

But I'm very glad that is now all over. Well at least I hope so, last year I think I was in a identity crisis too, but it took me longer to realize that I was at stake. But last year was much more-so much more. I don't want to talk to you about that. Anyway, this year I was on an identity crisis for around five months. But the climax is first month and the last month (just before now). The rest of it was not so bad (that's why it's really different from last year) but I know it's a denial. I knew it was a denial, but I didn't know what to do, and I didn't know what was it from. That's why it is and identity crisis.

And this is what brought me, to be someone, what ended my identity crisis


Yes, him. Last night I heard this song on the radio and- I felt the feeling I use to feel. It was the best- the happiest or, you know, you name it. It's not just that it was also the sex dream I had tonight (but more to that later). And it struck me why I left those lifestyle (P.S. this was Kurt's favourite song)

1. It got me into much trouble.

2. I was abandoned by a friend.

I had the biggest doubt of my life last night. Not to mention I'm the "can't decide" type. Would the trouble I'll get into is going to be worth it? But then, I just realized that the trouble I had was caused by the friend who abandoned me. I could just be back to the lifestyle but still avoid some trouble. Mostly, everything I did has been a denial of him-my friend. What if my life would not be in order like it was anymore? What about my grades? Denial. It was all a nothing but a denial. I was so uptight and it was a denial, I didn't  know what to do so I studied a lot and it was a denial. It was all a denial! Denial, denial, denial. I've been living in a denial and I hated it. So I want this to end, now.

I want to be what I used to be, and this starts now. I want to be as carefree, apathetic, cool, and 'don't give a fuck' like I used to. I want some friends to get wasted in front of a small minimarket or behind someone's house like we used to. So this is what I am now, what I used to be. And I don't want to run away from it ever. I don't want to deny this again, the things that I love. I don't give a shit- this world is so full of bullshit anyway.

I live and breathe grunge. and I'm glad to say it again.