Sunday, February 19, 2012

Anorexicism (Anorexia)

I'd love to be healthy. But health just isn't my best friend. All healthy foods are usually high in calories. Well that is, if I need to fulfill my healthy necessity. It is so hard to be healthy and skinny at the same time, you'd have to devote to it. So as a result, I gained weight.

And it is so hard to lose it back.

Then so I went back to the easiest way to lose weight, anorexia. I somehow became addicted to it. The no-energy feeling, the clearings of your mind and soul, and probably starving. Though the last one's not for me because I have never starved in my life, even if I haven't ate for days.

Because I have been well-acquainted with Anorexia in the past, I have known the side effects of anorexia. So to avoid that, I will stop when it starts to harm myself. And I will eat cheese, drink milk, vegetable juice, or some fruits once a day. I will stop before I look like this

and hoping to look like this

anyway I'm not up for Bullimia. I find it so difficult for me to puke. I have done it before, throwing up like 8-10 times by taking pills. But losing weight wasn't my goal back then. I was just depressed then I took pills. But it was lovely, and I did lose weight. Though I do not like puking. Oh, and I didn't binge eat then. In fact, I didn't eat at all. I think I puked because I did not eat. That's how the pills work at least.

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